During a life transition, your personality, a way of thinking, and outer circumstances change. After you’ve transitioned, you become a new person. Your family or friends may not recognize you and wonder what has happened to you. They may judge your new choices, but you stop caring because you feel great. At last, you’ve found yourself.
A life transition takes on many forms. However, one of the ways to tell whether you experience a life transition is to see whether these stages, in article 7 Stages of Inner Transformation, apply to you.
The Self-Help Trap
At some point in the process of life transition, you start reading self-help books. You may even attend events, workshops, and become really good at understanding what all these spiritual teachers talk about. Often, people spend years reading about the same spiritual concepts.
Yet, your life still hasn’t changed the way you wanted. No matter how much you read, meditate, and practice mindfulness, you’re still broke, your relationships are far from perfect, and you don’t love yourself. Moreover, after reading so much about the meaning of life, you still have the same depleting job.
So, where is the problem? You may ask. And I’m glad that you asked because I can see this every day as a life coach and spiritual teacher.
The reason why your life hasn’t changed yet is not that you don’t have the knowledge, but because you don’t act on it.
As harsh as it sounds, the people who live their dreams are the ones who act and apply their knowledge and then learn some more and use it again. Whereas those who struggle with the same issues over again are the ones who read and understand something and then forget about it a day after.
The self-help trap is to know what would help you and not acting on it.
Without noticing, your ego is playing tricks on you. The ego makes you think that you need another book or another person to help you. There is always something next, so you don’t work with what you already have. And what you have is all you need to begin transforming your life.
Everyone has some deep-seated problems like self-worth, money issues, problems with relationships that they can’t just shake off, no matter how much they try. Every single person has at least one thing that causes them the most discomfort in life. Even though they may know what this one thing is, they never take action or ask for help.
Most people choose to carry their bag of pain throughout their lives and not investing their time, energy, and perhaps even money if that’s what it takes to let it finally go. Thus, the self-help trap is not taking action on what you know would help you.
The Knowledge Isn’t Enough
Although without knowledge, there is no growth, it’s not enough if you don’t do something with that knowledge. Simply, knowledge isn’t enough. You must apply it.
Knowledge offers you a new possibility.
When you read about ten steps on how to love yourself, it opens up a door to a new potential for you. With that new knowledge and aha moments along the way, you have the opportunity to start changing your relationship with yourself. However, how many people do it?
If you wonder why your life isn’t the way you wish it to be, then not acting on what you know is the culprit.
To turn knowledge into wisdom, you must embody what you know.
You allow the information to change your life when you implement it. Along the way, you gain the required skills, state of mind, perception to create that which you want. It’s the integration of the knowledge that creates a new version of you who is ready for what you desire.
Life transition: the Circle of Embodiment
- You (blissfully) live in an unconscious state of mind. For instance, you’re single, and you enjoy it. (Side note: I believe that being single for a period is beneficial).
- Something triggers your initial state. In our scenario, the trigger could be that you go for a coffee with a woman who is perfect for you. You realize that being single doesn’t make you happy anymore. In fact, you love her so much that it’d destroy you if it didn’t work out, so you rather make yourself believe that you don’t want to be with this person (and anyone else).
- The pain gets intense. Now, there is a crack in your unconscious state of mind. You can’t close the crack anymore, although you’ll try. Many times. You experience a profound inner conflict between what you want (to be with her) and a belief that you can’t (because it would have killed you, had it not work out).
- Eventually, you wish to find a solution. In this stage, you begin to read and find answers to resolve your inner conflict. Over time and with dedication, you find information and knowledge that would help you. You learn about your limiting belief – I can’t be with the woman who I love because I’ll fail, and that will cause me so much pain that I don’t rather even try. When you come to this point, you can transform your love life entirely.
- Integrate your knowledge. Many people don’t get to point 4 and 5. Unlike the first three steps, these are optional – they don’t happen to you, you create them. To close the full circle and change your relationships for good, it’s time to act on what you know. In this case, you’re even further ahead because you’re aware of what your subconscious belief is. The integration process may look like this; you rewire your mind and shift the energy of this limiting belief by yourself, or you ask someone to help you. Then you mindfully change your behavior and become more of who you want to be rather than reacting to your subconscious beliefs. Your life starts shifting together with all the above steps. However, the most noticeable change comes with step 5. When you act on what you know, you create a new reality for you.
Don’t Stop – You’ve Come so Far!
To see the results of your efforts, you must embody your knowledge. You must BECOME what you want to see in your life. If you know that you walk the path that is genuine to you, then don’t get disheartened if your life hasn’t changed yet. Continue and focus on step 5, integrating your knowledge in your life.
When you read self-help articles, don’t just nod and think that you know it all – you don’t.
You can’t know anything unless you embody it.
When we walk the whole circle of the embodiment, we understand why we needed to experience challenges. The lessons become apparent to us, and we step into our highest potential.
Thus, don’t deprive yourself of the benefits of the hard work you’ve already done, keep moving forward in the right direction – apply what you know.