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number one self-love block

The Number One Self-love Block: A Note on Energetic Dependency

Do you love yourself? (Without any second thinking or hesitation.) If you cannot give me a big YES then this is very likely the cause of most of your problems in life. In my coaching practice, I rarely see people who would genuinely love themselves. Often, it feels impossible. Thus, I’d like to share with you the number one self-love block in this article.


How does self-love feel like?

You feel charged, happy and balanced. The life feels more like endless joy and miracle. You know that you deserve only great things and people in your life. So the universe supports you.

Since you love yourself, the universe holds your back in your decisions. Why do people who are happy and satisfied with themselves seem to have an easy life? Do you think it’s a coincidence? I don’t think so.

The logic behind miraculous life is pretty easy (at least in theory). When you love yourself, then you support yourself by doing decisions that uplift you and get you closer to your dreams.

When you support yourself, then the energy created by you is like sweet nectar magically attracting all the greatness into your life.

You feel good, and you make choices based on love. Thus, the universe amplifies the energy that you already are. In return, you receive more of the beautiful energy you emit.

When you support yourself, then the universe helps you even more. When you love yourself, then there is more love available for you. If you do what you love then new amazing opportunities open up for you.

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Self-love is the place where it begins

If your life currently doesn’t satisfy you, go back to basics and learn to live with yourself first, and then accept and love yourself. This is lesson number one for us all.

When you don’t love you, then it’s very likely that you don’t live the life of your wildest dreams because you believe that you don’t deserve it.

It’s also likely that you aren’t able to give love to other people in your life.  You might also keep choosing things that dishonor you and your abilities and talents. One decision at a time, we slowly choose not believe that we’re love worthy based on our childhood or first love disappointments.

We chose to be less than who we are. We choose to condemn ourselves and decide to seek our self-worth outside ourselves.


Somehow we understand the concept that all in the universe is love. However, it seems hard to accept the fact that we cannot remove ourselves from this equation.


When all is love, then YOU are love as well. Nothing is loving about saying that someone else’s more worthy. Love contains all. It includes the nature, the stars, all people and you as well.

The universe wants us to understand that love starts with self-love. This is the reason we meet people who betray us, treat us bad or hurt us. The only reason is to learn and understand that our worth doesn’t depend on anyone else.

If we continue waiting for someone else to save us, then we’ll never know who we’re. The key is to become our hero.

All of you has someone who you perceive to be more significant than you. You might be desperately seeking their attention and love.

However, if they don’t give it to you, then you feel unworthy and unloved. You go immediately into denial of yourself, and you feel like you don’t matter. An important thing to realize is that if you always need the approval of others, then you become dependent on their energy. It’s, indeed, an energetic dependency.

The bridge of constant energy exchange starts to determine your self-worth. If you don’t get your dose of energy in the form of love and attention, then you feel weaker and dis-empowered.


Why does energetic dependency suck?

Everyone on this planet has bad days, without any exception. You’d hardly find someone who’s constantly in alignment with higher self and thus is filled with love. Even your soulmate! No one, period!  

But, you want them to love you and appreciate you every time because you need your energy stimulus from them. Every time, you feel low and unloved, you look for rescue outside of yourself.

This is the tricky part. No one can give you attention and love 24/7. And once, you don’t get it then your mind comes with all sorts of excellent explanations.

Such as; You see! You’re not so lovable, there’s something wrong with you, even your soulmate doesn’t love you, etc.… and of course, you choose to believe it because you’re dependent on their energy.


How to free yourself and move to self-love?

To love yourself, you have to give love to yourself. This means, liberate yourself from expectations about the ideal behavior of others towards you.

Realize that they have bad days and they don’t feel the love for themselves so they can’t give it to you because they don’t know what it means. If you feel angry and some of your friends want your love then even though you’d love to give to them, you simply cannot (at that moment). This is true with others, too.

If you want something, make it happen. Seek for the approval within yourself. Use your abilities and energy.


Wouldn’t it be great knowing that all your choices are right, so you don’t need the approval of anyone else?

Wouldn’t it be great to be free and enjoy this life to the fullest? 


The only way out is to understand that your self-worth is not dependent on the opinions of others (no matter who it is!).

If someone tells you that they don’t like you, it doesn’t mean you’re not lovable. You never know their reasons. Maybe, someone told them the same thing just a while ago, and they feel hurt. Or they feel insecure thus trying to raise their self-worth, or they merely envy you.

You’re the only one who can help you. You’re the one who can create a fantastic life. You can decide to love yourself regardless of other people in your life because it doesn’t have anything in common with them.

The God, Creator, Source loves you and always will. There’s no doubt about it. But, you can’t feel it when you ask for love people who suffer themselves and project all kind of limitation and pain in the world. You can’t seek for love when it’s not there.

Learn to love yourself is a long journey. However, the step number one is to set yourself free. Cut energetic tights with others.

Be your hero. Learn to make your own decisions. Spend time alone and observe who you are. It’s a shame to live without even trying to love the one with whom you’ve always been and will be.

Fall in love with yourself and all will fall in love with you as well.

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