Non-attachment doesn’t mean that you stop having emotions about your life and others. In fact, it means quite the opposite. Developing a non-attachment approach to life is one of the key things that will help you move through any situation.
What Does Non-Attachment Mean?
Non-attachment is the opposite of attachment which makes us react out of ego. When we’re attached to a person or situation, we let our fear rule the connection.
An example could be a love attachment. If we’re attached to the other person, we create an unequal relationship that rarely gives space for love. We have a belief system that if we allow the other person to be the way they want to be and would offer the same freedom to ourselves, then they might leave.
This fear is rooted in childhood when we may not have received unconditional love, and instead, we needed to earn it. Or we felt like things were out of our control, which made us feel unsafe. As you may see, being attached to someone isn’t an expression of love, but it’s an act of fear.
Attachment originates in the unhealed part of us which wants to control everything to feel safe.
On the other hand, non-attachment means being completely present. When we don’t project our expectations, we allow life to be the way it needs to be. There is space for synchronicity, magic, and more support from the universe.
Non-attachment doesn’t mean that you don’t care. It means that you allow people and situations to be your teachers without the need to manipulate them. Likewise, non-attachment allows us to meet life from a heart consciousness instead of ego-based fears. We feel compassion and love.
Non-attachment allows us to act from the space of our true selves because the authentic self doesn’t dwell in ego.
Non-attachment allows us to create deeper relationships because we don’t judge other people. It allows us to move through situations faster because we don’t get stuck in problems, and we don’t make them more significant than everything else.
How Non-Attachment Helps to Unstuck Yourself?
From an energy perspective, every life lesson, emotion, and thought moves through a cycle. This cycle needs to be completed before we move on to another level. (With some energy techniques, you can significantly shorten the cycle).
However, often we don’t let the energy to finish this cycle because we project our ego on that situation. What happens is that we attach ourselves to the energy, and then we get stuck in that energy and carry it in our auric field.
When this happens, you carry the energy as long as needed until you release it. As a life coach, I’ve witnessed that it can take years, decades, or lifetimes.
When you learn the art of non-attachment, you don’t create additional “karma.”
You don’t get stuck in unwanted situations. Neither you sabotage positive outcomes.
The same applies to positive situations. Let’s say that you experience something positive.
First, you’re happy, and then you get attached to that situation because you worry that it may not last long. Or that it won’t happen again. The moment you let shadow self take over, you stop the cycle and don’t allow more positive things to come.
3 Principals of Non-Attachment
1. Don’t Always Interact
When you’re in the middle of a situation, you can’t see the whole picture. Instead of worrying, allow the situation to first unfold before evaluating it.
• You have an argument. Try to practice non-attachment and don’t react from your ego. Instead, let the other person say what they need to say without much interfering. If you get emotionally attached in the middle of the argument, it’ll take longer to find your balance.
» Instead, you can think: Hm, interesting that the person is saying this. What else is possible here?
• Things don’t go the way you had wanted. When things don’t go as planned, try not to judge them. Most likely, it’s an old pattern that is trying to finish its cycle. Keep in mind that what seems real isn’t always real. It’s a result of the conditioning of mind – not a fact.
• Avoid gossips, blame, and complaints. Another example of how to practice non-attachment is when you’re talking to someone who gossips or complains. The moment you emotionally react, you take that low vibratory energy into your energy field. Then it’ll attract other less-than-happy situations.
» Instead, realize that you don’t always have to react. Sometimes, it’s alright not to say anything or leave. Or just observe the other person with a curious mind without taking it too seriously.
2. Inner Observer
When practicing non-attachment, you’ll find out that you start to witness your actions as an observer. Suddenly, you don’t identify with your ego as much as you used to. You don’t take everything seriously, but rather stay present and observe what is happening.
When you tap into your inner observe, your consciousness is looking at situations that your being (human self) goes through.
When you’re neutral, you don’t wish things to be different. This would only create resistance that would attract more of what you don’t want.
Instead, you accept what is happening and observe it from the place within you that isn’t ever affected by the outer world.
3. Return to Your Center
The last principle of non-attachment is coming back to your center. This is especially important as we collectively go through many changes.
If you want to navigate energies of your life, keep focusing on your balance – your home within. Only when we attach to something, it gets us out of balance.
Practice non-attachment by centering yourself:
- Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths
- Feel your connection to Earth or do a grounding meditation
- Take a break or distance
- Do some journaling
- Remind yourself what is truly important to you – reconnect with your vision
Non-attachment takes some practice. On my journey, it has helped me to understand that we truly are souls gathering Earth experiences. It’s more like a master training here, which is constantly changing rather than things set to stone.
Start coming back to your center and view your life as an observer, and it’ll become easier to sharpen your skill of non-attachment.