The ego loves putting people on a pedestal. And although it could seem like an act of respect to someone, putting people on a pedestal actually undermines any chance for a happy, equal relationship. Putting people on a pedestal is one of the masterful tricks of the ego. Even though it can seem innocent and sometimes even spiritual, the ego plays games with us. Why do we raise some people above others? And why does it come from the ego?
The Ego Puts People On A Pedestal
The ego loves extremes. It loves labeling things as good or bad. Nothing can remain neutral. There always needs to be some savior and victim in every story. And the ego secretly categorizes people as better than and worse than. All this labeling, of course, stays hidden. The ego can’t be seen; it thrives in shadow and unclear situations. When the ego perceives enough intensity with a higher emotional charge, it uses the charge to strengthen itself. And it can enhance itself when it creates polarity. So, when the ego puts someone on a pedestal, now there is polarity. This person is so special that they’re beyond your reach, and it brings energy back to the ego.
Putting People On A Pedestal in Relationships
Let’s say you meet your soulmate or twin flame. You’re utterly smitten by this gorgeous beam of light that seems to resonate on the same spiritual wavelength as you do. Never before had you felt more connected to someone with this magnitude. In the initial moment of meeting, you’re both being centered in your heart. There is mutual recognition and knowing that you’ve known each other for a long time. You’re sharing beautiful moments and remembrance of your true self with them. Until the ego kicks in.
At some point, something changes, and you start to create stories about the other person. Because you perceive them so unique, the mind starts to look for a reason for their specialness. And as the glimpses of their light shine on you too. When you’re putting people on a pedestal, you raise yourself too. However, you can never reach the person on a pedestal.
You start creating stories about your future, and before you know it, you slip off the heart center connection. Now it still seems like love and deep admiration. But you start worshiping them in your mind. You’re no longer two souls in communion with one another. But you see them through your mind.
When you start putting someone on a pedestal, you turn them into a god. For you, everything they do is perfect. The balance had disappeared. Now you perceive the other person for what they can potentially give you. In romantic relationships, the ego feels that the relationship with this special person will elevate your ego.
The ego in you perceives the ego in them as more special and wants to swap the place with them unconsciously. Or at least receive trickles of their light.
The ego starts putting people on a pedestal because it wants to feel special too. It wants to be as shiny as the other person appears to be to the ego.
Now, you believe that this one person is more important and special than others. Nothing matters unless you’re with them. Like in twin flame connections, there is an obsession. But you don’t see the other person anymore. You see what they could potentially bring to your life. In the twin flame relationship, the final goal (an objectified essence) is the union. Everything starts to revolve around that one thing. The mind obsesses about reaching the union (or a relationship) with this one person. And it ignores any red flags. Essentially, the mind loses the sense of balance and serenity and moves to an extreme.
Now, You Can’t Have Any Relationship With Them
When we’re putting people on a pedestal, we create a gap between them and us. Since they’re on a pedestal, they’re perceived as better than others. And simultaneously, they’re being objectified into something we’re aspiring to become. The person on a pedestal turns into an object. They’re no longer seen for who they are. Now, they symbolize something the ego strives for.
When you put a friend or a lover on a pedestal, you stop having a relationship with them. Now they’re an object of your worship and admiration. By putting people on a pedestal, you put yourself lower. And it creates an energetic imbalance that will eventually lead to the breaking up of the relationship. Because essentially, the mind is in love with an illusion. It deprives the other of their human self and sees only a perfected human being: a potential union – a heaven on earth.
Whenever you put someone on a pedestal, the relationship will eventually dissolve.
However, a real two-sided relationship occurs between two whole and sovereign beings. You know that the other person is not the source of your happiness, love, energy, or anything else. You take full responsibility for your well-being and spiritual evolution. Even though the other person is unique, they aren’t special. As you move through the ego traps of being special, you learn to recognize the uniqueness in everyone. You know that you can be happy without your special person. Because you know how to tap into the relationship with your own higher self. So you don’t need to plug into your own source through someone else.
When the ego begins putting people on a pedestal, those people will let you down. Why? Because every extreme eventually finds equilibrium. It’s not true that someone is more special. Only the ego labels others that way. And since being special isn’t aligned with the truth of our deepest essence, something will happen, so you’ll take those very same people off the pedestal.
When putting people on a pedestal, it’s only a matter of time before taking them off the pedestal. And then, the ego will create another extreme and begin to see the other person is wrong or even evil. Remember that the ego always needs to define itself against someone. Therefore, those extremes and polarity are vital tools for maintaining its existence. I’ll go deeper into the topic of putting people on a pedestal in my YouTube video below.
P.S. If you’re interested in learning how the ego works and uses the subconscious mind, you can read my book, Become the CEO of Your Mind.