How to make a relationship work when you know you’re with the right person? I’m sure that you’ve been through a couple of bad relationships and ended up with a broken heart. Unfortunately, some life lessons are unavoidable.
Yet every failed relationship helps us grow and contribute to who we have become. However, when you meet the person who you hope is the right one, then another failure is not what you want, right?
Like many other people, I also didn’t use to know how to make a relationship work. I didn’t have the best blueprint from my environment, and in 2011 my six-year-relationship ended.
As I’d been learning from my relationships and have talked with many clients about what has gone wrong in their relationships, I was thinking about how to do it differently.
There had to be a secret recipe for making a relationship work and a guideline for people to do it ‘’right’’. I wanted to desperately figure out how to do it correctly until I let it go and instead focused on finding myself.
How to Make a Relationship Work?
The key to how to make a relationship work is to find yourself and own your strengths and weakness without making your partner responsible for them. All the problems in the relationships come from our own issues, fears, and self-doubts. When you stop and think about why you’re upset with your spouse, then you might see that the ‘’problem’’ is rarely in the other one but ourselves.
Face Your Deepest Self
Everyone on this planet craves for love. Everyone wants to be loved and love someone unique. Unfortunately, almost none of us believe that we deserve to be loved completely. The way we are. Vice versa, we believe that our other half will cheat on us, leave us, not love us, hurt us, lie to us, or anything else for that matter.
When we meet someone, there are two opposing conflicts. On the one hand, there is a desire to be loved and love. On the other side, there is a fear that we won’t be loved, so we look for proof of why it cannot work.
This internal conflict gets more intense the longer into the relationship. Because the longer we’re with someone, the stronger self-doubts and fears there are since we aren’t in the initial love phase anymore.
So, you can have a happy relationship. But… You have to understand that the problem is NOT in the other person.
The only problem you need to face is your fears. When you take ownership of your beliefs, you can make your relationship work.
The other person isn’t responsible for what you feel and think. He or she didn’t cause your feelings, but you’re pushing your partner away if you don’t start healing your own wounds. The cause of your current issues in a relationship can be found in childhood, wounds from the first relationships, your self-worth, and how you assess yourself in general.
You reflect your relationship with yourself including all the doubts and fears onto another person.
You don’t even have to confront the other person with your issues. Or you can talk about them calmly and be willing to acknowledge your fears and heal them.
You cannot get healed by blaming others because you can change only what you take responsibility for. If you want to make your relationship work, then stop blaming the other person. As more issues are coming to the surface, please take it as an opportunity to face and heal these issues. It will pay off.
Taking accountability for own issues is the ultimate way how to make a relationship work. Because every relationship starts with yourself first.
Would you like to improve your relationship or your relationship with yourself? Let’s create magic together! Schedule a COACHING SESSION with me.