Do you have a difficult time releasing suppressed emotions? Most of the people aren’t aware of their suppressed emotions, although nearly everybody has them.
Emotions are an inseparable companion on life journey every moment. Of course, there is no way to escape from them. Yet, many of us are unwilling to deal with emotions until the moment when they become suppressed emotions and play with our subconscious mind.
Thanks to my life coaching practice, I meet many people who desire to get over unwelcomed emotions. Instead of allowing themselves to feel whatever it is that they’re feeling, they try to numb their emotions. They’re eating over it, thinking over it, shopping over it or working over it.
This “getting over it” mentality adds to depression. As a result, people suppress emotions, erroneously believing, that they have them under control.
But any suppressed emotions are controlling us.
Thus we don’t allow ourselves to be internally free and do what we want. We live in a time, when “the faster, the better” and “go and get it” mindsets don’t allow us to take time and heal old wounds.
Doing the inner healing isn’t something that the society values too much. We all have to be better, smarter, more productive, faster, and keep trying. Often we try so hard that we lose ourselves in the process. And when we eventually get our ends met, we realize it doesn’t satisfy us. It’s not what we wanted. As we lost the sight of our true self along the way.
What do suppressed emotions cause?
If you don’t face suppressed emotions, you stay stuck in the getting over it mentality, and it becomes challenging for you to heal.
You might believe that the old pain is long gone, but when you suppress your emotions, it moves from the conscious to the unconscious mind where it gains more power over your behavior.
Your ego knows all your suppressed emotions and uses them against you. Every time, you choose not to heal them, you allow the ego to project your hurts to your present and future through unloving beliefs about yourself.
What are the effects of suppressed emotions?
Let me describe the effect of suppressed emotions on a short story. A 9-year old boy is cheerfully playing with his new toy. Suddenly, he hears his parent’s quarrel in the next room, so he walks there to stop them arguing. Since from his perspective, he doesn’t understand why two people who he genuinely loves should treat each other in such an unloving way.
He walks into the room and sees his mum cry, so he hugs her and tries to make her feel better. He feels responsible for his mum, so he unconsciously he starts to feel her pain along with his pain from unloving relationship of his parents.
However, the dad tells him to buck up and go and play again. The little boy is left with his pain alone, not knowing how to deal with it, so he listens to his dad and buries it deep within. Next time, when the same situation occurs, he stays in his room pretending that he doesn’t hear the quarrel, pretending that he doesn’t feel the pain.
He begins to feel unworthy, unloved, insecure and he learns that he cannot trust. The ego uses these feelings and convinces him that when someone argues, it’s his fault.
The ego creates beliefs like: “I can’t please any woman” because he couldn’t help his mum. “It’s not safe to love or trust someone. I’m alone with my pain. No one understands me. It’s safer to be alone. I’m not worthy enough.”
Suppressed emotions turn into limiting beliefs that make people choose harmful behavior. It paralyzes people from saying stop and making changes that would bring them more joy and sense of self-worthiness. These limiting beliefs are mostly the reason for drinking alcohol, staying in unhealthy relationships or fear of saying what we need and want.
We all have experienced moments when we have buried hurt or pain instead of dealing with it.
The crazy thing is that, like in the case of the little boy, the harmful situation wasn’t about self-worthiness at all. It wasn’t his fault that his parents had problems. Yet, he didn’t know how to respond, so he internalized unhealed wounds of his parents.
He took on himself their pain, and his mind made him feel that it’s his pain. I know it can sound a bit crazy, but this is how our subconscious mind works. Therefore, we have negative thoughts and patterns that don’t make logical sense yet they hold a powerful grip on us.
(If you want to know more about how the mind works, you can read about it in my latest book.)
My questions for you are:
What if the pain that we buried never belonged to us?
What if the limiting beliefs that negatively influence our decisions were nothing but lies?
You can continue reading 5 ways how to release suppressed emotions HERE.