I don’t know a person who wouldn’t have suffered from low self-esteem at some point or another. Myself included. The deeper causes of low self-esteem can be well hidden. Thus, it’s difficult to deal with them.
I used to be very insecure when it came to following my many passions and hobbies. Out of fear that I would not become good at what I was doing, I would usually quit right before I was about to reach the break-through point.
Thus, I was going in endless loops of self-sabotaging behavior. I was choosing the safer path which would save me a possible pain.
Many ways, low self-esteem stops us from living our dreams. It prevents us from making important decisions as we choose the safer path instead. Low self-esteem also creates co-dependent relationships, jealousy, or controlling behavior. (You can read more about how to build your sense of self-worth here).
What are the deeper causes of low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem is caused by subconscious mind which I call the ego. It’s the part of the mind in which all limitations, fears, negative thoughts come from. You can read way more about what the ego does in my book called Become a CEO of Your Mind.
The ego (subconscious mind) rules our decisions if we don’t do anything with it. The ego’s favorite idea is that we’re all separated. From each other and God (universe, soul, …).
Since we believe in separation, we want to count only on ourselves. We often don’t think that there is a force higher than us that can help us.
Therefore, we experience struggles on our way. The outer world reflects back to us whatever thoughts and beliefs we hold. The more we push ourselves, the more separated we feel.
The cause of our insecurity is that we believe that we’re small and separated from the Source.
Thus, we don’t allow the Source to lift us up. Instead, we keep relying only on our limited power that comes from ego. There is a whole universe of difference between inner power that comes from the spirit and the ego. One leads to a healthy perception of self while the latter makes us feel lonely, separated, and unworthy of love.
Another of the causes of low self-esteem is our need to prove ourselves
We keep pushing ourselves to follow to-do lists and to fulfill too high demands. We push ourselves to own limits because we don’t believe in our worth. So we just keep proving things. This doesn’t lead to healthy self-esteem because the ego rules us instead of the conscious part of the mind.
Whenever we do something from the place of proving our worth to others, the results are disappointing. The reason is that we based our decisions on the illusions that we need something outside of ourselves to feel worthy. And just as with any illusion, this one, too, can’t bring positive results.
Our sense of genuine worth and self-esteem doesn’t come from pushing ourselves to limits. This only reinforces the belief that we’re inadequate.
The realization that we’re all worthy comes from the recognition that we can count on the universe to help us. And we can rely on our inner power coming from our soul (spirit, higher self).
Counting on own strength that comes from the ego means that we limit ourselves. Counting on the universe to support us means that we count on our true greatness instead of the limited belief about who we think we are.
In order to heal low self-esteem don’t make it all about yourself. Open to the help that is around you. If you have low self-esteem while giving a speech, remind yourself that it isn’t about you (the ego-based idea about the limited you). It is about the intention of your speech and its content.d