Note: This is article is based on my latest book, “Become the CEO of Your Mind.”
There is almost no one who wouldn’t have experienced self-judgment. Self-judgment can be very subtle, so we don’t pay nearly any attention to it. Or, it can be deafening and clear. Either way, if we judge ourselves, we believe that others will judge us in the same way.
We all see own projections in the outside world. The world reflects us what we think that we did to ourselves. We judged ourselves, and therefore we want to redress own mistakes by judging others.
By judging ourselves, we make the outer world reflect us what we think about ourselves. Thus, we encounter many struggles and problems. The problems only point out the things we can heal ourselves.
If you don’t believe that you can make something happen then, others cannot believe it either. If you tell them that you wish to be a pilot, but you would not believe it why would they then? Then you see your own judgment about yourself being reflected by others.
You put your beliefs about yourself into everything that you are doing and saying. Your opinion about yourself is reflecting on what you’re doing.
How does self-judgment alter our life paths?
Imagine two people who are doing the exact same thing – painting pictures.
One of them wants to get famous through his art and earn money. Monica has self-doubts because she never felt accepted and loved so she must prove her worth to the world.
She wants to prove all people who have done her any wrong and judged her that she is better than they thought about her. She wants to prove to them that she does not need them in her life. So she paints day and nights and works hard to fulfill her dream.
To her, her painting is proof of her worth.
If she fails, the people who judged her were right. Thus, she tries hard to turn their judgment on themselves by judging them too. She wants to prove that they are the wrong ones. Yet the only reason for her endeavor is her own self-judgment as she believes that she is not a good painter.
Then there is Mike who is a painter as well. He loves being creative and playing with the textures and colors. He has never thought that he is a good and successful painter.
Actually, the only thing that he knows is that he loves what he is doing. His aim is not to get wealthy and famous. His aim is to create and express his inspiration on a canvas freely. That is the only intention that he put into his art. Just pure expression.
Although there are people who think that he is not a good painter, he does not care. In reality, Mike does not think about what other people think because he does not pay attention to it. Mike knows that the art is about expression and this is what he is doing so there is no way how to fail.
Mike has not allowed his alter-ego to rule his life, and therefore he lives his dream now. He is self-judgment free, and others do not reflect his judgments back to him. He does not live in the reality of judgment at all.
If you don’t hold bad beliefs about yourself, then do you think that others would judge you for something? Probably not. If you free yourself up from self-judgment, then judgment does not have any meaning in your life.
Are you tired of feeling wrong every day? Are you exhausted from feeling bad about your decisions and asking for permission? Do you feel tired of all the judgments and being harsh to yourself? Do you believe that there is another way how to live?
Then drop the judgments because they do not serve you in any way. They only keep you stuck and limited. The judgment forces you to hide your true self from everyone including yourself. They make you act in a certain way, so you feel better about yourself. Thus you make own judgments your master who directs what you are allowed to do and how hard you must prove your worth.