The soul evolves through three stages of soul maturity. Soul maturity has nothing to do with age. It’s embodied wisdom that is earned by the way we conduct ourselves through life. We mature spiritually as we act in alignment with the soul and do the things we know we’re meant to. Even if they are hard. Even if we don’t see the way sometimes. Still, we show up consistently and intentionally. The soul may remain in one stage for lifetimes; this is especially true of the first stage. The final, third stage of soul maturity equals enlightenment and Ascension.
At the Maiden or Boy stage of soul maturity, the soul is gaining experiences. We’re tabula rasa, unscripted, ready to experience a variety of things. We soak in information but rarely turn it into wisdom. At this stage of soul maturity, we don’t yet know who we are and what our purpose is.
We’re like novices entering new experiences to learn the workings of life and ourselves. This is supposed to prepare us for the next stage, the Queen – King stage.
The next stage of soul maturity is the embodiment of the inner Queen or King archetype. This is when we assume responsibility for every aspect of our lives. It’s not about whether something is our fault, but knowing what we do with the cards we were given is our portal to inner power.
The Maiden or the Boy often believes that they’ll take responsibility once they have the dream income, a partnership, or live their purpose. But responsibility doesn’t require a big life; it requires maturity. Caring for what you already have, however big or small it is.
The Queen and the King Archetypes lead themselves energetically and through actions. They are the true sovereigns of their lives; what they say, they do. Their word is the law. Taking the full responsibility for your life and following the lead of the soul so that you act on the things you know you’re supposed to.
Energy and action are married within the Queen or the King.
Where the Maiden and the Boy wait for synchronicity or stars to align, the Queen and the King show up the best way they can in every situation. It’s through this choice – because ultimately it’s a decision about how you conduct your life – that they mature into their power. Through another lens, the Queen and the King are the symbols of your soul embodied, and you sitting on the throne of your inner power.
Beyond the Queen or the King stage of soul maturity, the Matriarch or the Patriarch exists. The Matriarch or the Patriarch symbolize the full maturity of the soul. They aren’t only the keepers of themselves, but the ones who protect Life in all forms, setting healing, grounded, empowering energy for generations to come.
Even though we may have many negative connotations associated with the word “Patriarch” and, to a lesser extent, the word “Matriarch,” it’s time to reclaim these terms. When you view them in their pure, original essence, you see someone who protects what is sacred. Matriarch is the one who protects Life.
I’ll be exploring these topics in my upcoming books, Queen Power and the Matriarch, as this in itself requires a full understanding of its depth.
Collectively, we’re stuck at the Maiden or Boy stage of soul maturity. One could argue that perhaps even more than ever before. People often think of spirituality as meditation and prayers, but it’s the action originating in your own Spirit that matters. It’s the marriage of Spirit and Matter through your unique life path. One could meditate whole day long, but unless that is their purpose, they’re likely in the Maiden or Boy stage of soul maturity. So let’s unpack some of the signs it shows up in life.
One sign of escapism is the fear of commitment. Running away from commitments in relationships, purpose, and ultimately to Life. We stand at the threshold: Do we get our hands dirty, live fully and completely, and live in alignment with the soul? Or are we going to observe Life, not fully participating in it? That’s the question everyone needs to answer.
The Maiden or the Boy Archetype within us feels disconnected from their power. Therefore, they feel like they’ll never succeed, so why bother trying? It’s easier to escape. Escape into an artificial reality, into fantasies, hopes, wishes, or fears. Anywhere but the present moment. Anywhere but what you deep down know that you should face and create in your life.
I call this type of spiritual escapism, the Dream of the Maiden.
It goes something like this, “I want to escape the pain, I just want ease, I just want to be, I don’t want to deal with Life, I shrink from it, I don’t grow into it. I want my partner to worship me even though I have little intention of returning the favor. I want money, but ideally without work. I only want to manifest positive things, and a big house, please. If something negative happens, it’s because I’ve had negative thoughts. I believe that an Ayuashca retreat means I’m spiritual. I’m very evolved, although my life is a mess.” The list could go on.
Escapism is also the energy of living through books rather than applying the knowledge to your life. Knowledge is the foundation, but acting on it is wisdom. And wisdom is what the Queen and King stage of soul maturity is about.
Another form of spiritual escapism is the cult of the body. The obsession with never-ending youth, specific looks, and muscle composition. This is a new age way of materialism rooted in the fear of death, more on that later.
Another form of escapism and fear of commitment is dreaming about that one day when you’ll finally do it. When you’ll finally act on your purpose (or figure it out). And when things get easier, so you can finally show up. It’s like wanting the stage set up for you without the committed, consistent effort of intentionally creating your life, which may take decades before you see the results you want.
The truth is that most people don’t create a legacy that outlives them; they die with potential untapped. Legacy is what the Matriarch or Patriarch stage of soul maturity is about. It can feel overwhelming, like something huge we must do. But legacy has many forms. And one is yours. A legacy can be a legacy of love, when your great-grandkids will remember stories about your kindness and big heart.
It doesn’t always have to be something overwhelmingly huge, as the ego would have it. But it must be true – to you. It must rise from your heart, not trying to prove yourself to the world and to yourself.
Across many cultures, people undergo a Rite of Passage that symbolizes the transition from the Child or Maiden stage of soul maturity into adulthood. This ritual took many forms, but they had one thing in common: facing your biggest fear and the big why. Face what you are most afraid of so that it loses its power over you and your actions. And for most people, it’s death – facing your own mortality.
Women still undergo this when giving birth. On some level, you need to face your own mortality, and that can help you understand the true meaning of life.
Most people say that they aren’t afraid of death. Actually, it’s the first, almost too quick, response. That is the correct answer after all, is it not? However, without actually facing your own fear of death at some point in your life, you can’t know whether you have it. As a Spiritual Mentor, I would rather look at the various manifestations of the fear of death because it may not always be as obvious.
When we’re afraid of death, we’re stuck in certain patterns. Let me name just a few.
Fear of death manifests as being afraid to be alone, or a fear of abandonment and rejection (as if you’d die without the other person or constant approval). Another clear sign of the fear of death is being stuck in a survival mode, financially, mentally, and physically.
The next sign is the fear of committing yourself to someone, or even to yourself, and ultimately to Life. This one has become very relevant in our times. It appears to be independence, but 9 out of 10 times, it’s just fear.
The fear of losing someone you love, whether they leave you, die, or lose interest in you while staying by your side.
The fear of aging and the obsession with youth, being always beautiful, young, and how many wrinkles you have. Behind all of this is the intuitive knowing that you don’t truly live. You don’t live the life aligned with your soul.
Another sign of the fear of death is not dealing with your matters, like finances, getting organized, and being disciplined. Collectively, we’re at a puberty rebellion stage against the masculine energy. We judge it, and by that, we don’t take care of the things that belong in our Sphere of Influence. Not dealing with what it is, another way of dying by fooling ourselves that if we aren’t showing up, we may get out of this life alive.
And finally, escaping into books and knowledge without applying it and trying to “freeze” yourself in a growth and positive cycle of life, trying to avoid other seasons. The Law of Attraction is built on misunderstanding the seasons of life and trying to manifest only the positive things, because deep down, we haven’t come to terms with our own mortality.
There are only two honest experiences in life – birth and death. Both put things into perspective. We can’t escape into our minds; we must face it.
When you create your own Rite of Passage, whether sitting in front of your altar or going for a solo 3-day hike, look at your own mortality. Face your fear of death and listen to what it reveals to you about what truly matters in life. You may be surprised that chasing success is the least thing you remember on that last day. Likely, what you’ll recall is the love of your family, the laughter of your children, and gazing at the ocean while the sun is setting.
Moreover, as you face your fear of death, you may also realize that the inner limitations and fears didn’t matter in the end. It was just a mirage, like the heat over the desert forming fantasy pictures that aren’t real. Fears are another form of dying.
Only by facing the fear of death we understand what’s meaningful in life and what is only a distraction the ego pursues instead of actually maturing.
The inner Maiden and Boy energy try to unrun the cycles of life and their own mortality. But when you deliberately face it, you find wisdom that time can’t buy, only true presence can.
When you look back at your life in your final day, what did truly matter?
Enter the School of Remembrance, where spirituality meets embodiment as you heal, integrate, and remember who you truly are.
You’ll progress through three distinct stages of soul maturity on your journey. Each stage is associated with a Rite of Passage that will confront your fear of death.
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