When your family triggers you, you may want to isolate yourself. But it’s not always possible, and it can create a prison around you that undermines all your relationships. Why is it difficult to stay in your power while spending time with family members or people you’d prefer not to be around? Or do you have to cut off people?
Family relationships can be complicated. On the soul level, you likely share unresolved karma at least with a few members. And when you add different personalities to it and upbringing that may not have been what you actually needed, a family reunion can feel like an obligation that you’d rather opt out of. And many people do.
In this time, it’s easy to block, cut off, and disconnect from the people you don’t resonate with. And depending on the circumstance, it may be the smartest choice. However, what if you can’t do it? What if it’s your family member or a colleague, and cutting them off would mean quitting your job?
What we don’t see doesn’t hurt, so we mistakenly think we’ve healed something when we don’t interact with it. It’s easier to break up than to look within yourself and reclaim the places you’ve disconnected from. It’s more convenient to avoid the difficult conversation with your friend about how they’ve undermined your trust. And it’s more comfortable to disappear from your family’s orbit than to view your shared bond as an opportunity to grow into your power.
The truth is that you can’t cut off everyone. We all need connections. We’re social beings, and although the online connection can feel safer, we need real people in our lives. We need a tribe we can count on. But when you take the easy route, you won’t recognize the right people for you. And you won’t learn how actually to nurture these connections. That’s why you practice right where you are uncomfortable with the people in your life.
Can you hold your energy when family triggers you?
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From a spiritual perspective, when a family triggers you, it’s a lesson of staying in your sovereignty and power. As a visionary soul, a lightworker, a paradigm shifter, you needed to experience the lesson of powerlessness early on. Hence, as an adult, you already know how to hold your power.
When you learn to stay in your power no matter who is in the room, you can guide people through your gifts without manipulating your message, vision, or service to others to satisfy them. Instead, it can flow through you purely. You become a vessel for a higher consciousness, new solutions, and new visions without fear of judgment.
If you learn early on in life not to run away and hide from complicated relationships, you can stand in your truth no matter who is in the room. And that is the lesson your soul wanted you to master.
If you’re in your power, no one else speaks through you. You can set people’s expectations aside and actually talk from your heart. You can create the art in the way only you can, without worrying how it will be received. Other people’s perceptions of reality and expectations of you are valid, but they don’t dictate the way you show up – only your connection to your heart and soul does.
Can you be in that room without disowning yourself? Or do you live in the universe where you always have to choose-it’s either you or them? Either their emotions, choices, words, or actions matter, or yours do. What if both were valid and could exist in the same space?
A challenging but liberating pill to swallow when family triggers you out of your power and calm is to understand that they don’t need to love you unconditionally. And they don’t need to show their love the way you’d prefer to. Yes, it would be great if people’s hearts were open enough to express their true love for others, but unfortunately, that’s not the reality for most people.
Your family isn’t teachers of love – although some likely are. See them as your teachers of how to stay in your power around difficult emotions and circumstances. Not someone who is obliged to love unconditionally.
From a soul’s perspective, in past lives, you’ve experienced soul-defining moments when you had to let go of your power, authority, and even sovereignty. And now your soul wants you to let go of the wound that still keeps you hiding, self-isolating, running away.
The people with whom you experience an intense emotion and whose energy wants to collapse are the perfect people triggering the old soul wound, so you need to face it to step into your power in this life.
Instead of waiting for your family to finally love you and understand you, see them as indicators of how well you stand in your sovereignty. This is the soul agreement you have together, and once you accept it, it will set you free.
Instead of seeking harmony with everyone, see a family reunion as a mirror of where you are with the embodiment of your power.
If you can own your power with your family, you can do it with anyone else, too. And that sets you internally free from collapsing under the weight of expectations and other people’s intense emotions. All that experience is ultimately for you to experience freedom internally from anything that binds your soul from expressing itself truthfully.
Can you own your voice, your power, your choices without collapsing and shifting, no matter who is in the room with you?
When family triggers you, their emotions feel intense, overpowering, or confusing at times. Just like it used to feel when you were a child. When you’re a child, and your nervous system is learning how to regulate itself through your connections with others, you need emotional safety and security. But if your family triggers you out of your power, that is a telltale sign that you didn’t grow up in an emotionally safe environment. And that is not your fault. However, you need to take responsibility and learn to regulate your emotions around others’ emotions without taking on what they feel.
When you were a child, your nervous system didn’t feel safe to be around unstable emotions – unpredictable, chaotic energy. Emotions are expressions of energy in motion. It felt too much to handle as a child. You never knew when the emotional cloud or an emotionally tiring situation would pass.
Thus, you had to learn to scan the room emotionally to see what to expect. That made you sensitive and very attuned to that type of emotional energy.
And when you’re around a similar emotion again, you want to run or freeze. Getting some space between you and a triggering, intense emotion is the right choice as a child. It may even be the right choice, depending on the circumstances, as an adult. However, running away from complicated emotions isn’t a solution for the rest of your life. At some point, you need to face what you fear, or it will chase you forever.
When family triggers you – or anyone else does – the solution isn’t avoiding what you can’t change. The solution is creating an inner space of emotional sovereignty where other people’s emotions don’t override your experience.
When you do it, you become the frequency that overrides the energy of the room. Thus, even a difficult family member becomes calm, peaceful, and kind when you’re there, even though that’s not their usual self. In other words, your calm nervous system tranquillizes theirs.
Emotional sovereignty – the state of inner freedom from other people’s emotions – is an internal work. Through practices such as inner child healing, somatic release, and rewiring subconscious beliefs, you can achieve it.
When you learn to feel emotional neutrality, you begin to emanate energy rather than absorb it.
As you begin to emanate energy, people will feel it, and it will elevate their energy too. Whether someone feels negatively, they won’t display it; they’ll only feel it momentarily when they are with you. Thus, simply put, this will stop being part of your experience.
If you’re about to spend time with family who triggers you, decide that you’ll only observe what emotionally happens within you. You won’t react to what they say because ultimately, words are just words. In most cases, different opinions and expressed expectations are just expressions of someone else’s mind. And they have the right to think differently, even if you think it’s wrong. And you have the right to believe in something else. Choose to view the family reunion as a place to witness how deeply rooted you are in your power. That’s it.
In relationships, a mutual respect for differences is more important than agreement.
Before the meeting, set an intention:
I want to be a witness, an observer here, and see which part of me wants to heal through this experience. And see what I am ready to release.
When you face triggering people, observe what happens emotionally within you. Take it as neutral information. When you feel uncomfortable emotions rising, go within and see what your inner child needs from you in that moment to feel emotionally secure.
You can literally imagine or feel your inner child’s energy. This is the part of you that carries your emotional memory, and you can tune into it at any time.
Ask your inner child (as you feel emotional unease rising):
What does your inner child need to feel validated, loved, and seen?
And then give it to yourself internally. Likely, your inner child needs to feel more loved by you- not others. And that’s always something in your control.
It was never about the other person. It was always about you and your journey to experience inner emotional freedom, no matter where you are.
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