The fear of commitment is far more common than one could think. At first glance, it might seem that not committing to something or someone gives more freedom. But this is an illusion coming from the ego, preventing us from experiencing more depth. The fear of commitment doesn’t only apply to relationships where it’s the most visible; it also relates to our spiritual path and our life purpose.
Are You Afraid of Your Own Depth?
There are two ways of growing. One is horizontal and the other vertical. Ideally, we grow in both ways and all their possible combinations. The horizontal way is about expanding your being. And the vertical growth is about going deeper or higher, which in the end becomes the same. Higher vertical growth is about connecting to your higher self, starseed origins, and soul memories. Lower vertical growth is about going into the universe within you. Eventually, the higher and lower connects, leading to the zero-field of potentiality.
Often, it is experiencing our depth that we unconsciously run away from. Even when we actively work on our soul and self-development, there is always more depth to us. And we resist that level of depth, ease, and expansion. When we commit to something, we commit to going deeper. And ultimately, all the ways lead back to our center, deeper into our being. Therefore through the things and people we commit to, we travel deeper into our very being. Thus, the fear of commitment is about being afraid to experience your own depth.
When we choose to operate on the surface level of things, we don’t let these things teach us. We stay with people or experience just long enough before they could touch more depth in ourselves which we don’t know how to handle.
For example, if you commit yourself to master how to play the piano, it’ll lead you to self-mastery. Through your commitment, you’ll hit many levels within yourself when resistance and doubts come. And instead of giving up, you continue your practice. Then you realize that as your fingers fly across the keyboard, you experience innocence and purity that is the core of your true essence. No matter how your play goes, you enter this blissful state when you’re one with your essence and intuitively understand who you are. Had you given up, you wouldn’t have experienced your very essence running through your body, opening up your heart.
Are you afraid to experience the depth with yourself, others, and with your purpose?
You see, sometimes we focus on the results, but it’s the journey through committing to what matters to us that is the highest spiritual practice. Every hobby, person, or situation can teach you everything about yourself if you’re willing to stay till the end. When the end happens, you’ll feel it’s time for something new. But the decision to give up doesn’t come from the fear of commitment.
The Fear of Commitment and Feeling Trapped
The fear of commitment is related to the fear of being trapped. Many people are afraid of getting trapped in a relationship or work. It seems that not committing gives us more freedom and possibilities. I know many people who have a new business idea every few days, but they don’t know how to make it happen. It might seem like we get more by staying away from experiencing the depth I’ve talked about. But this is a belief that comes from the ego.
When we heal the fear of commitment, we stop standing in our own way. The ego tries to keep us within the safe limits of our conditioning. And therefore, it panics whenever we have the opportunity to go beyond the energetic barriers we had been raised to believe are our limits. The ego sets on an alarm system producing limiting beliefs telling us how dangerous it is to go deeper. Our fear-based mind wants us to stay on the surface of things where it seems like we have freedom, but we’re not free internally. The fear of commitment is a projection of not committing to ourselves.
The fear of commitment tells you that you’re not fully committed to yourself.
Do You Trap Yourself?
The fear of commitment and being trapped comes from situations where we’ve given our power away. In truth, it is us who have trapped ourselves. We trap ourselves by our limiting beliefs and not setting the mind right. I recommend everyone to learn to understand their minds and align the mind with their soul’s purpose. On the spiritual journey, this step can’t be skipped.
We trap ourselves and project that feeling onto other people. Instead of claiming full responsibility and reaching inner freedom, we blame it on others. The truth is that you only get trapped in situations that are not aligned with your heart. We get stuck in situations that are not truthful to who we are.
For example, let’s say you start a business that doesn’t align with your soul’s purpose. You’ve entered the business with wrong intentions, and as a result, you feel tapped. But it’s not the business that has trapped you; it was your mind that led you on a path that serves the ego purpose, not the soul purpose. But even in such a situation, you have the power to change it and act from the space of your heart.
When we act on the soul’s desires, we don’t get trapped. If our intentions are pure and we devote ourselves to the things that align with who we are, we experience growth. We trap ourselves because we don’t honor who we are and what we truly want. If something doesn’t work for you, you can say no and change the situation. But when we fear commitment, it’s because we haven’t learned how to stand up for ourselves. So we keep moving and stay on the surface because it feels safer than speaking up and honoring ourselves.
Are You Committed to Your Purpose?
The fear of commitment isn’t only about relationships; it’s about lacking commitment to yourself and your purpose as well. The ego would love you to have ten different doors open just in case. So you never have to go deep and see what you’re made of. Because what if you give yourself fully to something and it’s not enough? It’s better to create excuses such as, “I don’t know how. I don’t have time, I can’t do it before something else happens,” etc.
Committing to your purpose will grow you more than anything. And here is the thing. The ego has an idea of how your purpose should look like. In our current times, for many lightworkers, it might seem like something visible and grand. However, your soul might have a completely different take on your purpose. The question is, are you going to listen to the voice of your ego and keep searching and changing your focus every few months? Or will you surrender to your soul?
What lessons did your soul come here to master? And why are you running away from it?
To really live our purpose, we all have to transform the resistance and limiting beliefs. Then the ego surrenders to the guidance of the higher self. And it’s something that takes time. And therefore, commitment is essential. You can’t reach depth right away because there is always something beyond. On the other hand, it doesn’t mean that we should stick to the wrong things. Again, check your intentions. If something speaks to your soul, then it’s worth committing to.
If this topic resonates with you and you’d love to dive deeper, explore my signature online program, How to Find Your Life Purpose.