What does it mean to choose yourself? Choosing yourself means that you decide to be there for yourself no matter what happens. You don’t wait for the nice and easy times. On the contrary, when you choose yourself, you become your supporter and best friend all the time. Especially when things get hard. And especially when other people might have different opinions about how you should live your life.
6 Ways to Choose Yourself
We live twice. One life is before we commit to ourselves. In that life, we spin our universe according to others. Does someone think you’re too much? No problem, you can always shrink yourself. Does someone think you shouldn’t use your God-given gifts? No problem, you can find some not so soul-fulfilling job. Does your partner want you to accommodate their needs? Easy peasy. You can stop having your opinion and dreams altogether.
Then there is a second life. Usually, we’re born again after some life-shaking event. After all, we’re a stubborn species, so we need harsh wake-up calls. When our life shakes in foundations, we get a second chance in life, and this time we truly begin to live based on what is true to us. Of course, it takes some birth pain and resistance. But life will push us to genuinely commit to ourselves and to the path we’re here to experience. And this is exactly the moment when you start flirting with the idea to choose yourself—this time for real.
1. Stop Living For Others
The very first step to choose yourself is to stop living for others. And this one might get people triggered. And yet, most people secretly dream about this level of inner freedom and courage. We’ve been conditioned to believe that when we prioritize ourselves, we’re selfish. The word ‘selfish’ has a high emotional charge, and it works like a spell meant to stop you. So if someone calls you selfish, ask yourself if that is actually accurate. Or whether they have some other hidden agenda.
People who call you selfish want to control you and make you do what they want you to do.
When you stop living for others, you realize that you’re here to do something meaningful with your life. So you break free from the group conditioning, and you dare to dream. Not only that, but you also tap into a path of accelerated growth. And this path can only be walked alone. I know that this is a hard one. But if you really want to go far and find out what you’re made of, you have to walk the path alone.
Undoubtedly, you’ll meet amazing souls along the way. Likely you’ll know more soulmates than you’ve ever thought possible. But in the end, no one knows what you came here to do. This song is yours to be sung. No one else can do it for you. So is it possible that you’re afraid of walking this path alone and you rather let other people control your life?
We’ve all done it. In fact, this is one of the big topics I discuss with my Lightworker soul clients. But one day, you’ll have to make the decision to choose yourself. Your original soul blueprint kicks in at that moment, and it starts guiding you to the highest expression of your being.
2. Give Up Approval
The second key step to choose yourself is to give up the need for approval. You can’t really live your highest life if you unconsciously yearn for recognition and approval. It’ll always limit you because it’ll allow you to only operate within a certain bandwidth of consciousness. When we base our choices on external approval, we operate based on other people’s realities. And their realities are always just opinions, possibilities, and points of view. Yet, they’re never the ultimate Truth. So when we look at it logically, it makes no sense to seek external approval and fit ourselves into someone else’s universe.
To give up the need for external approval, you might need to do some inner healing work. It might take a while because seeking approval and validation is like taking a drug. You learn to operate only if you have the external input to your life. It becomes addictive. And therefore, it also takes some deep work to learn to live without it. But this is a necessary step to choose yourself.
3. Parent Yourself
The next step to choose yourself is learning to parent yourself. Parenting yourself means reparenting your inner child and help them grow up to become a whole being. This is essential for people who didn’t have the best childhood. No matter what has happened, you can become a parent to yourself. This will help you develop your emotional body properly.
When you parent yourself, you fill yourself up with so much love that external situations stop controlling you. We let the outside world control us only when we don’t feel whole on the inside. And therefore, becoming whole – regardless of what is currently happening in your life – is an essential step to choose yourself. Without those foundations, you’ll always want to give your power away. You’ll let other people control you and tell you what to do.
So, how would your relationship with yourself changed if you were a parent to yourself and gave yourself all the support, care, and love you need?
4. Forgive The Past
To truly choose yourself, you have to decide that you’re more important than what has happened in your life. Way too often, we hold our past against ourselves. The mind plays the same movie over again like a broken record. But if you choose yourself, you give yourself freedom. You stop holding onto the things that have happened or the things that could have happened.
Forgiving the past doesn’t mean that you can’t have that what you had desired in your life. It means that you let the old versions of the event go, and you allow them to rearrange again in your favor. If something or someone is meant to be, it comes back to your life after you forgive. But as long as you hold any inner resentment, anger, fear, or regret, the only way it can come back in is to assist your inner healing. When you forgive, you let things and people be the way they need to be. And you pull your energy back so that you can use it in the present moment.
5. Stop Waiting
Waiting is an illusion. Yes, there is something like divine timing. Some situations do happen in cycles but still waiting is a trick of the ego to keep us in the familiar. When we wait, we live in resistance to what is. Because if we truly accept a situation, there is no waiting. Waiting only happens when we think that we should be somewhere else in our lives. And why would we think so? Because we likely are meant to be elsewhere, but the waiting part won’t get us there. Quite the opposite, it keeps your energy stuck.
When you choose yourself, you stop waiting. You take your power back, and you decide what you want to experience next. Don’t underestimate the power of your choice. I’ve talked about it a lot because making a decision is a powerful force that sets things instantly in motion. So if you feel stuck, ask yourself, what are you waiting for? And if you truly choose yourself, what would you decide to create in your life now instead of waiting?
6. Your Energy Is Sacred
And the last step to choose yourself is to remove distractions from your life. The way we manage our energy tells so much about how we value ourselves. If we don’t use our energy and time wisely, it’s like saying that our energy and time don’t matter. And guess what happens if you believe they don’t matter? You’ll attract a crazy amount of distraction to your life. Unexpected – and unimportant – situations will show up out of the blue. And your task is to learn to say no and prioritize what truly matters to you.
You can’t choose yourself as long as you allow your focus, energy, and time to flow mindlessly. Not everything is important. And certainly, not everything has the same priority in the now. You have to become the CEO of your energy, not let the external situations move you around. If you don’t value your energy, then you magnetize people who will test you into your life. And their main task is to teach you to say no.
So how can you manage your energy better? Where do you have energy leaks in your life? What is a waste of your energy? Take your power back and choose yourself.