Choosing yourself can be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. Often it means walking away from people we thought would be part of our forever. Or moving beyond the point, we’d normally stop and finding the way. We’re not used to choosing ourselves because often, we believe that if we prioritize our happiness, we’ll hurt someone.
Choosing Yourself as an Expression of Soul
After the worst year of my life, I finally chose myself and moved to the other side of the world. I know that I could have stayed and wait for my twin flame to stop running away. Or I could have continued taking steps toward my career in business. Likewise, I could have stayed with my ex-boyfriend and continued the life of predictability and a false sense of safety. But after I hit bottom, I couldn’t keep escaping from my true self anymore. I did one thing that I had never tried before – I chose myself, and it turned out to be the best decision of my life.
You can read about my story in my memoir.
Choosing yourself doesn’t always come naturally. As a society, we labeled choosing yourself as being selfish. But can mutual happiness be defined by someone’s self-denial? Is it always the most loving thing to choose others over yourself if it only postpones acting on what you deep down know you want?
Do we truly understand what “selfish” means? Or do we use this word against people to keep them from reaching their potential?
Choosing yourself is an expression of your soul. When you humble yourself and surrender to the guidance of your higher self, then you choosing yourself also serves the highest good of everyone else because we’re interconnected.
When you choose yourself, you follow your inner flow, and it leads you to the best embodiment of your purpose here on Earth. When we put conditions and restrictions on our way, finding our purpose feels difficult. But the moment we choose ourselves as a reflection of our inner essence, we can’t go wrong. There is nothing selfish about it. On the contrary, it’s a bold statement of the celebration of life.
How to Start Choosing Yourself?
Choosing yourself means that you always stand by your side, and you support your dreams. Even if no one is there to help you, you show up for yourself every single time. You don’t take people in your life for granted, and you also don’t use them as an excuse for living fully. Choosing yourself requires taking complete responsibility for the direction of your life.
1. No More Either/Or
When you face options that offer two different directions, you ask yourself, what is the most loving thing to do? Not always we have to choose either or even if it looks like that. More often, there is also a third way that will empower you the most.
When you become your best friend, you remove the conditionals from your decisions. And you choose what is the highest expression of you and your truth.
You give yourself the space to choose a path that honors who you are. We don’t always have to be a part of someone else’s universe. Become your own first before being someone else’s. If you’re in a committed relationship, it’s not an excuse for forgetting your dreams and not standing strong in your power. Choosing yourself means that you acknowledge the third option, which is to follow the most loving choice for you.
2. Honor Yourself
How much do you honor yourself? Can you feel in your heart that you’re an expression of divinity? When I finally started to love myself in 2012, I was amazed by how much my life changed when I started honoring myself.
Back then, honoring myself meant that I relentlessly showed up for my meditation and inner healing practice. Although by then, I had been vegetarian for a couple of years, I never spent time preparing the most nutritious food options for myself. But, I realized that my body needed to become even cleaner to be able to hold more light, so I turned into a raw vegan for a couple of years to purify my system.
I started to honor myself by showing up for myself, my dreams, and for God. I could feel God’s essence pouring through my awakened heart, and I realized that if I honored myself, I also celebrated life itself.
By choosing yourself, you’re choosing life.
Honoring yourself starts from the way you nourish your body, say no to harmful relationships, to giving yourself all the support you need to heal yourself and follow your purpose. It’s about lovingly mothering yourself through challenges and embracing your emotions and inner wounds.
3. Live Fully
Upon your awakening, you might realize how much you had been hiding from living fully. Our ego does a great job of protecting us from potential harm. But this overcare often gets us into situations when we start to give up on ourselves and the dreams we’ve once had.
When we remove the conditionals from our lives, we realize that there is always a way how to honor ourselves by living fully. Living fully means that you set your heart on fire, and you become courageous instead of thinking that you’re too old or it’s too late for something. As long as there is life within our human vessels, it’s never too late.
If you’re hiding in your comfort zone, it’s time to think whether it’s really the life that fulfills you or it’s time to expand your human experience. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for being grounded and feeling inner peace and stability. And this is precisely the magical stepping stone to expanding in a soul-like way.
Life is too short. Don’t give up your dreams. Don’t wait at the sidelines for someone giving your permission or for a situation to change. You’re the captain of your life, and you create your future with every choice you make.