Have you ever wondered how to attract people into your life? Especially, the right people? Having the right people in your life is essential to your emotional and mental wellbeing, as well as, your success.
Perhaps you’ve heard that we’re the summary of five people we interact with the most. When you think about five of your closest friends and look at your behaviors, you may find some correlations. Thus surrounding yourself with the right people either elevate you or take you lower.
Why attract the right people in your life?
The people we surround ourselves with form our mindset. Unconsciously, we pick up their beliefs and behaviors and allow their emotions to uplift us or make us feel worse. Thus, your tribe is important.
As a coach, I often meet people who would love to change their lives, but they feel like they can’t because of their friends or family. Naturally, you can’t change your family, but you certainly can meet new people.
Let me share with you the story of Meg. Her life-long dream was to open her own coffee place. Whenever we talked, her enthusiasm for creating an inspiring place that would gather like-minded people was tangible.
Although it was apparent what her soul guided her to do, she didn’t allow herself to follow her heart out of fear of what others would think. Upon a deeper inquiry, she admitted that behind her fear of following her life purpose was the fear that her female friends would judge her.
Like many other people, Meg trembled with fear of her closest people to cast her out for doing what she loves.
I met her in her early forties, by then, she had been thinking about her dream for 15 years! Still, having the same friends who appreciate her only if she stayed the same Meg as in high school.
Learning how to attract people who cheer you up and you can learn from is one of the keys to success.
How to know who the right people are?
When you attract the right people, they are happy for your success, and you’re happy for theirs. Together you grow faster than you would individually. The right people gently push you out of your comfort zone. Moreover, they challenge you to see where you play small so that you can reach higher.
The right people are honest with you. One of the signs that you attract the right people is that they’re ready to have tough conversations with you. By that, I’m not saying that you have arguments, far from there, but they give you a constructive critique.
A simple (typical) example is when you invite your friends to shop for new clothes for you. The friends who fear you’d outshine them will recommend you something that doesn’t suit you. Or they say that you look amazing when it’s not true. The friends who uplift you, tell you gently and lovingly the truth.
Another vital sign of attracting people who are perfect for you (at that stage of life) is that you can be yourself with them. You don’t have to defend your opinions or pretend that you’re not smart.
All the masks fall away, and you enjoy being vulnerable with others.
Tips on how to attract the right people
The circle of friends usually changes a couple of times. As you evolve and your focus shifts in life, some people naturally leave. I’ve noticed that for many people it’s scary to change their friends along with different cycles of life.
Although I understand it, especially when you start awakening and most people leave your life, it’s natural. You’ll see that the new people who will come to your life, will be a much better fit for you and your inner growth.
1. Be clear on what kind of people you want to attract
When I was in high school, I didn’t have many requirements for other people. Back then, it didn’t matter what their values or hobbies were because I wasn’t clear on who I was. Thus, I made friends with a vast range of people who weren’t the best fit for me.
To fit in, I needed to pretend that I was interested in similar topics like them. While I truly thought about ancient history, philosophy, and spirituality. Naturally, those friendships weren’t meant to survive because they wouldn’t allow me to do the work I do today.
To know how to attract people who inspire you is a skill that improves your life.
Foremost, be clear what your standards for people are. Make it crystal clear in your head what kind of people you wish to surround yourself with. If you’re into a healthy lifestyle and yoga, you may not want to hang out with people who spend every night at a bar. The opposite is true as well.
If you enjoy speaking about history and politics, you may want to find like-minded people who share your interests. It all begins with clarity. How would your ideal friend look like?
If you’re looking for the ideal partner, then you also need to know what do you expect from them. Probably, you don’t want to take anyone who is interested in you. Instead, you search for a partner who would be on the same vibe with you and share similar values and outlook on life.
2. Authenticity attracts the right people
The single most important thing is to be authentic. Authenticity means that you stay true to yourself regardless of the situation or person. It’s your uniqueness that attracts people in your life.
When you’re true to yourself, you shine brightly like a lighthouse making sure that the right people find you.
On the other hand, if you pretend to be someone else, you attract the wrong people. Unconsciously, you’ll delude them with the masks you’re wearing. When you don’t have the right tribe of people in your life, you sabotage yourself.
If you struggle to surround yourself with the group of people who are on the same wavelength, check the vibe you send out.
Are you authentic in all interactions?
With who you can’t be authentic?
Why do you fear how these people perceive you?
How would you feel if you could always express your true self in all of the relationships?
When you want to build strong bonds with people who are on the same vibe as you are, don’t be afraid to share from your heart. When you’ve already attracted the right people in your life, then open up.
It doesn’t mean that you tell them everything at once. But share what you feel at that moment. Around the right people, you feel a sense of expansion. Whereas with the people who take you down in some ways, you feel restricted and probably don’t even want to speak up.
From my experience, it doesn’t make sense to push yourself into sharing something personal with the wrong people. But it means a whole universe with the right people. When it comes to sharing, follow your intuition, and observe the sensations of expansion or restriction in your body. Your body informs you whether it’s “safe” to open up around certain people or not.
4. Don’t waste your time
My last tip on how to attract the right people is to make space for them to come. If you don’t have energy and time to meet new people, you unconsciously send out the signals that you’re not interested in meeting someone new.
To clear out space for the right people to come, look at your current relationships. If you hang out with some friends out of fear of them judging you, but you don’t feel a deeper connection with them for years, perhaps it’s time to move on.
Your time and energy are precious. Don’t waste your time on toxic people or don’t try to hold on relationships that are long overworn.