We all need to master self-parenting techniques even when we’re adults. Especially then. Many of us haven’t had a supportive upbringing, and thus the basic ways of nourishing ourselves might be foreign to us.
Why self-parenting matter?
Self-parenting is paramount to stepping into our potential and achieving our dreams. Whenever I work with my clients, I can see that we all need just a bit of guidance and support, and then we’re ready to step into a better version of ourselves.
Everyone secretly waits for someone to recognize their inner beauty and invite them to notice it as well.
In our essence, we’re all beautiful souls, and we need to feel safe, welcomed, and protected to shed the decades of conditioning. Only then we’re ready to shine our light. Instinctively, we recognize that we’re more powerful and have far greater potential than we can observe.
However, we’ve not always been supported to reveal our true essence. Far from it, we’ve been stepped on and told to be quiet and not to be daring too much. Others called us naive when we shared our incredible visions with them, which has made us lose faith in ourselves.
Unfortunately, this is part of the experience of living on this planet. At least for now. It’s never too late to provide yourself with everything you’ve ever needed so that you feel loved, protected, nourished, and supported.
Conversely, self-parenting is essential on a spiritual journey. It helps you to mature at all 4 levels of your being (the body, mind, spirit, and energy – etheric levels). Without self-parenting, it’s easy to get lost in the fear-based patterns and lacking the strong foundation to reach your potential.
I started self-parenting myself at the age of 22. For the first couple of years, I didn’t recognize what I was doing. My intuition guided me to take better care of my needs, desires, body, spirit, mind, and emotions. Steadily I learned to tune into my feelings before I promised anyone anything or decided what actions to take.
Before I knew it, I rewrote and anchored new loving energy in my body cells, which meant that I began to think and feel completely differently about my self and my life purpose. Self-parenting has taught me that we need to create a supportive environment for ourselves, so we feel secure to express our deepest essence to the world.
Self-parenting isn’t a matter of luxury, but rather a necessity.
I share this with you because I want you to realize the power of self-parenting. It grounds you, balances your emotions and thoughts, and you feel more ready and energetic to create powerful shifts in your life. If you feel like it’s a nice concept, but you need to be here for others in the first place, then I’d like to challenge that thought. This belief, although beautiful at first, is blocking your potential.
The belief that we should “sacrifice” ourselves and be always available for others before we’re here for ourselves is another trick of the ego.
When you’re neglecting yourself, it’s easier for the ego to take control of your thoughts and emotions, and this is precisely what it wants. The ego offers you a seemingly innocent (almost saint) idea to always do what others want or need you to do, so you stealthily slip away your life path.
Yes, we’re one big organism and tight with each other energetically. But first, you need to learn to stabilize and nourish your own “system” before you’re ready to be here powerfully for others.
When you balance your energies and emotions first, then you’re able to be there for others in an entirely different way. You’re uplifting others from the place of overflow and unceasing light.
But until then, you need to build the foundations, self-parenting, healing inner wounds and patterns, learning to take care of your energies and the impact you have on others, connecting with your heart, soul, and God.
When these foundations are in place, you help others by being present with them, and it doesn’t feel overwhelming or depleting. In other words, self-parenting is one of the key assignments for everyone. A hundred distinct ways exist, how you can be self-parenting yourself. I share with you 5 of them and invite you to expand on these techniques and create your own.
5 Self-parenting techniques to master in adulthood
1. Nourish your body
Let’s start with the basics. As long as we’re on this planet, we inhabit our bodies. Thus it’s essential that we feel good in our bodies and create a healthy bond with our sacred temple. A good starting point is to check your relationship with your body.
Do you feel comfortable in your body?
Do you push it to its limits?
Have you had enough rest lately?
Is the food you eat energizing you?
Do you eat too much or too little?
What kinds of thoughts do you send to your body?
These are the questions to look at when you want to be in synch with your body. Some people feel pressured by images of “perfection” on and off social media, and they allow it to dictate how they feel in their bodies.
In fact, as a coach, I witness this pattern time after time. If this is your current experience, then I challenge you to uncover the cause of why you don’t accept and love your body the way it is and then start healing this pattern.
No matter what your relationship with the body is, you can always change it and heal it. Imagine the freedom when you don’t judge your body, and you eat what you want and when you want, yet your body is on your optimal weight and proportions because it can feel your love.
2. Leave abusive relationships
On our journeys, we may find ourselves in abusive relationships. Sometimes our best friend turns into an abuser, or it’s our parent who becomes toxic to us, or it’s a partner we married out of love, yet something went off along the way.
I know that it’s not pleasant to say “it’s been enough” and leave, but it’s a vital part of self-parenting. Just like you wouldn’t want to see your child unhappy because of someone else, you can provide yourself with the same compassion and support.
Who is abusive and toxic to you?
Is there someone you know you need to let go, but you’re afraid?
Who is holding you back in your life?
Some people are energy vampires, and their impact is toxic on us. They dim our inner light, and we waste our precious energy on them instead of investing in what really matters. It can be hard to cut off the cords with them, especially if we feel guilty and responsible for a relationship, but often the lesson is to leave and choose ourselves.
You have a limited amount of time and energy, and by letting others step on your self-worth, you don’t allow yourself to step into your life calling.
3. Unleash your voice
Another lesson of self-parenting is to express what you think and want. Often we don’t say what we think because we’re afraid that others may not understand us or they aren’t interested.
In which situations do you repress your voice?
When should you speak up but you don’t?
When do you allow others to be louder than your inner guidance?
Thus we outsource many decisions to others instead of choosing what we want. Saying what is on your mind helps you to take responsibility for yourself. It also trains you to see that you’re a creator of your life because when you express yourself, then there is no one to blame.
4. Tune into your feelings
In the past, we worshiped the logic and reasoning over the emotions. Everything needed to be proved, explained and labeled. However, we’re not just our minds, we’re multidimensional beings, and by adding too much importance to our minds, we quickly forget the whispers of our heart.
One of the fundamental self-parenting techniques is to pay attention to your emotions. You can observe when an inner tension or uncomfortable emotions build-up and release them before they create a drama or conflict.
When you address your feelings, you’re also more attuned to your soul and receive intuitive guidance.
Are you repressing any emotions?
Do you have a habit of tunning yourself into your feelings regularly?
Are you subconsciously afraid to admit your deep-rooted feelings because it would mean change?
Before making a decision, observe how you feel about it. When you feel out of sync, stop, and ask yourself what is going on deep within.
5. Support yourself
We should support ourselves in every situation. Period. No one else will do it for ourselves 24/7, and no one is supposed to. Committing to supporting yourself is potent beyond your imagination.
Not just that it enables us to create our desired life, but it also shows the Universe that we’re ready to show up for ourselves so that the Universe can amplify our actions.
Do you abandon yourself when challenges come up?
What kind of support do you need to achieve your dreams?
In which situations can you support yourself more?
No matter what the situation is, you can always support yourself more. I believe that since you’re reading my blog, you want to achieve more in your life. You have a vision and dreams that your soul asks you to execute. For that, you need to be there for yourself 100% of the time.
The more powerful vision, the more you need to support yourself.
You’re responsible for the life you have. Thus if there is something that would make your life journey more comfortable and your transition faster, then allow yourself to receive that support. I couldn’t be where I am today if I wouldn’t have supported myself along the way. Success doesn’t happen if we throw obstacles in our way.