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how to build self-worth

How to Build Self-Worth and Quit Living a Substitute Life

You’re an amazing human being who is full of fascinating ideas, but you believe that you can’t make them happen. In fact, you stop before you even fully try.

The years are passing by, and you’ve created a sort of comfortable life, but your inner voice screams out loud: You can do so much more! You were born to live fully! You can change, it’s not too late!

The problem isn’t that you wouldn’t hear that inner voice, but it sounds scary to start acting on it. Now that you’ve invested so much in your current life. You got already used to doing things a certain way. You’ve already made up stories about who you’re and what’s possible.

Perhaps, you’ve met someone and settled down, but it doesn’t feel like “it.” Or you’re still waiting for your other half to come but meanwhile, you’ve put a label on which says that you can’t meet anyone. Not you. In both scenarios, you put yourself in a box, and you defined your world.

There are many reasons why we don’t pursue our dreams and why we settle for less. One of the reasons that I see coming up often with my clients is low self-worth. Thus I’d like to share with you one tool which will offer you a guide on how to build self-worth.

A low sense of self-worth and confidence is something that you can work on. A very few people are blessed to sustain a healthy sense of worth throughout their life. I used to struggle with low self-worth and confidence in my early twenties. Hence I know how this impacts the rest of our life. Little by little, low self-worth infiltrates every life area.

But if you struggle with your self-worth and confidence, you can absolutely change it. It takes time and your effort, but it’s possible. I don’t want you to give up on your dreams because you don’t feel worthy of pursuing them. 

I believe in your potential, and I know that many of you reading this article are lightworkers with important mission also for others. So let not a low self-worth ever stop you!

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How to Build Self-Worth

When it comes to self-worth and confidence, the common denominator is that you make others a center of your universe. That’s the reason why it seems so challenging to know how to build self-worth because all your focus is directed on them instead of you.


To increase your sense of worth, you need to redirect the focus on yourself.

Ask yourself these questions:

In which life areas do I focus on what others want instead of what I want?

Where do I lack my inner power?

What is the root cause of my low self-worth?

Where should I support my dreams more?


These questions will help you to see the thread of why you struggle to accept and love yourself completely. You can feel free and expand on these questions even more.


Do You Live a Substitute Life?

I’ve noticed that people with low self-worth have a life full of substitutes. They don’t have the home or car they’d like to have. They don’t do the job that would excite them but instead, they settle for a secure paycheck – which makes sense for a period, but it’s always good to have a greater vision to work on.

People who lack healthy self-worth don’t invest in themselves and their dreams when they need it. Instead, they’re secretly waiting for some miracle to happen and change the course of their lives. But they don’t consider themselves to be the creator of their experience. 

Can you see the correlation between low self-worth and having a life full of substitutes?

How could you possibly believe in yourself if you don’t go for what you desire?

How could you feel confident and supported if you don’t support yourself the way you really need it? 


Having the “substitute lifestyle” is what keeps your inner power tamed and your worth low. 


Of course, we can’t always have everything when we exactly desire it. Everything has its divine timing. But you can patiently work on it and trust that when the time comes, you’ll have precisely what you want – not a substitute.


The Universe tests the purity of our intentions and the strength of our desires. 


If we settle for the easy options and continue living in the mode that this isn’t quite it, then guess what you get more of? Yes, more substitutes. You’ll send a signal to the Universe that you don’t need much to get by so you don’t receive much.


You always receive whatever price you ask for.


At some level, you realize that your life doesn’t look the way you want and this impacts your self-worth much more than you think.

Because when you do things below your capacity and potential continually then you create the story in your mind. You start to think that; you’re not the person who can have the career that satisfies your soul, or the partner that you have a loving and equal relationship with or even clothes that don’t break after a couple of months of wearing it. 


Before you even start, you already predetermine the outcome.


This way of thinking creates a vicious circle because if you don’t learn how to trust yourself and at least give it all you have, then it’s unlikely that you build the self-worth that you want.


How Can You Change It?

My suggestion is that you look at your life as honestly as you can and evaluate where you stand at. It means that you tell yourself the truth about what you really want and write it down on paper.

Try not to edit yourself. At this point, it’s just a writing exercise, but every change begins with admitting to yourself what works and what doesn’t.

Then reread your list and pick one thing that you can change already now. You look for one substitute that you could replace with the “real deal.” For a start, it can be something as simple as buying yourself a nice coffee mug.

Or opening an old book of the Spanish language that you still secretly hope to learn one day. Perhaps, you decide to start eating a salad for dinner instead of instant food.

Start small and continue upgrading one life area after another. This one tool will boost your self-worth more than anything else.

Let me know on Facebook how it’s going for you!

You can download a FREE printable 4-step guide to help you Build Your Self-Confidence and Self-Worth.

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