These are some the lessons before 30 that I believe are important if you’re deliberate about creating the life on your terms. There are two ways of living. One is on an auto-pilot, and the other one is a conscious way. One leads to mediocrity and never be entirely content. While the other leads to a life that makes you feel alive and excited.
I’ve walked both ways. The life that was conditioned by opinions of others and “shoulds.” And the life of no rules just genuinely listening to my heart. I guess it might not surprise you that the second way feels far more fabulous than the living according to others. The underlying reason for holding ourselves back is fear.
The extraordinary life
Some people have developed a sense of self-awareness, so they admit the extent to which the fear runs the show of their lives. Those are the people who are more likely to get out of the rut and create something extraordinary with their lives. The extraordinary can take different forms from creating a breath-taking garden for your family, paint sunflowers on the wall for your children or start a non-profit organization that brings education to SE Asia.
You’re the one who decides what extraordinary means to you. One way to measure it is by the amount of joy and excitement you have while creating it. The exceptional is something you do from a place of pure desire and inspiration. It’s an act of lure. You let the divine flow freely through you with an open mind and heart.
These moments of extraordinary are the ones when you remove yourself from well-known track premade by others, and you create something new. Something beautiful, inspiring, and full aliveness.
These are the occasions we shape our destiny from living on auto-pilot to living with purpose and intention.
What is the last time you’ve felt truly alive?
Why are you so scared to live fully?
8 Fundamental life lessons to know before 30
1. Find your true self
Your true self is the part of you that hasn’t been conditioned by the opinions of others. There, somewhere deep within, are your dreams, hopes, and life force. One of the essential things is to get to know your true self. Because if you don’t then anyone can tell you who you’re and you believe it. And what worse! You begin to act accordingly.
This is the safest and fastest way to misery and depression. Naturally, it takes time to find yourself again. It’s a journey. You have to excavate your true buried self, the one you’ve abandoned to fit into society. But, trust me, it will well pay off.
2. Let go of what you’ve learned
The fastest way to get anything you want is to let go of everything you think you know. Anything that doesn’t help you live more fully is not worth giving your power to it. Our society is full of patterns (brainwashing) that makes sense if you want to have an army of obedient people, but it’s not a way of incarnated wisdom and happiness.
The sooner you begin to question your beliefs, the quicker you realize that those beliefs aren’t yours. They’ve been handed to you from generation to generation. Develop critical thinking and learn to listen with your heart more often and you’ll be surprised with a new found freedom in life.
3. Find your own way
If you cannot find a way, create one! What most people don’t understand is that we’re not here to be “a copy paste” of others, we’re here to grow into our potential most excitingly and uniquely we possibly can.
It’s okay if you’re the only person walking your path. You’re here to create more beauty and opportunities for others. By being you, you’re teaching by an example. When you let go of who you should be and accept who you are then you experience a new plane of inner strength.
4. Let challenges teach you
The life happens. There isn’t a person who wouldn’t have been experiencing heartbreaks, financial problems, or a lack of love and support of family. But we can turn them into our strength by understanding their lesson for us. When you stop running from life, and you face the difficult moments you let them teach you.
5. Make a fear your ally
The thing that stands in the way to anything you want is the fear-based part of your mind. This is the home of the “little self” who is self-centered, victimized, upset, and limited in thinking.
As long as you believe what this part of you says that is possible for you, you’ll not get out of the comfort zone. With a discernment, you distinguish which voices in your mind are true and which are false. Thus you’ll have the choice to see the truth as it is. No better, no worse.
6. Find the right life partner
Although meeting your soulmate is something we cannot control, we can prepare ourselves for it. Every right relationship begins with yourself. First, you must become the right partner for yourself and give yourself what you expect from another person.
If you believe that you can only be happy once you meet them, then you may as well end up disappointed.
If you don’t feel whole and complete by yourself, then you sabotage the relationship, or you attract the partner who is supposed to teach you some (hard) lessons – usually painfully. Therefore, if you haven’t met the right partner, don’t worry, there is plenty of room for self-exploration and experiencing fun by yourself.
7. Set boundaries
For me, this has been a harsh lesson. I like to help and support others, but when it becomes a one-way stream that feels depleting, then the well dries out. I didn’t understand it for a long time, and I continued putting myself to draining situations over again.
Until there was a time that I felt so depleted that I simply had to start saying no and protect my energies. Setting boundaries is a sign of the wiser use of our energy. Instead of wasting it, we can manage it, so we have more to give.
8. The right timing
Everything has its own time. Which, of course, doesn’t mean that we should sit and wait. On the contrary, we create freely and when the moment matures the results come. But we cannot manipulate and control the results. That would be a mere waste of energy and time.
Instead, focus on creating the life you desire. The life that gives you a sense of meaning and you’re excited to live. When you get lost in creating from the place of joy, you don’t have the mindset that everything needs to happen NOW. You’re lost in the dance and magnetized by the motion. This is the place of presence and delight. Remember, you’ll not get what you think want but you always get what you need.
The biggest secret of life is to live it fully. When we face our feelings, most-hidden thoughts, and see relationships as assignments to learn, we reach a balance in our life.