Trying to push ourselves to do more. To achieve more. Be better. Keep ourselves busy – because that equals doing something important, right? 🙂 All this is supposed to satisfy us. Something that we strive for but we don’t deserve it quite yet. First, we have to work hard to become better. Thus we push ourselves beyond the limits.
Subconsciously, by pushing ourselves, we try to become a person worth having the desired result of the endeavor.
Don’t get me wrong. Yes, we should strive for more but with the right intentions. If the underlying belief of achieving more is the thought that we aren’t good enough and therefore we must improve, then we keep pushing ourselves, yet we’re never fulfilled.
On the other hand, when we do more like a natural side-effect of stepping into our inner power and the desire to evolve, then we find the fulfillment along the way. There is a different intention in what we do, and therefore we get a different result.
Why do you push yourself?
When we don’t believe that we’re good enough, we’re in a state of constant inner war. We don’t accept ourselves as we are. Thus we push ourselves into achieving more, being perfect, or hiding our true self.
Pushing yourself too hard is a sign of lack of worth if the motive is to prove someone (or yourself) that you’re better.
The relationship with yourself and pushing yourself beyond limits start with self-worth. The self-worth comes from within. It’s not dependent on what is going on in your life. Because if it would depend on credentials, then many highly accomplished people should be the most loving, peaceful, and happiest creatures in the world. But this is not the case.
Find your why
Some push themselves to limits, working for the next promotion, pay raise, being perfect in the eyes of others but deep inside they feel like a fraud. Regardless of what they do, it’s never enough. Because they aren’t enough for themselves.
I believe that our ultimate goal is to feel inner peace. Only when we’re peaceful within, we enjoy and appreciate life. The peace comes from the mind. Not from the outside world.
If you’re pushing yourself, find out why you do it.
Why are you pushing yourself?
What are you running away from?
What is the underlying feeling or belief that you want to escape?
Keep asking yourself these questions until you feel that “this is it.” When you find the real cause, you experience AHA moment. The sudden realization feels a bit shocking, but it also brings clarity and peace.
When you find out what you’re running away from, you’re ready for the next step. The next step is about honoring yourself right here and now. Just the way you’re. How simple yet so alien thought to many of us, right? 🙂
The link between pushing yourself and your worth
Together with your realization that hopefully brought you the previous questions, you may feel compassion for yourself. Knowing that you don’t need to continue treating yourself in an unloving way anymore. Now that you understand the cause, you may choose to set yourself free.
“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg
Enjoy your own company
The way to stop pushing yourself beyond limits and find your worth is about learning to treat yourself better. You have to start regardless of whether you’re where you wish to be or regardless of how busy you’re.
There are always excuses why not to start now. But these excuses come from the fear voice in your head. The little voice is telling you that you’re never enough and that you must better yourself before you can deserve what you want. You must deserve to take a break. You must deserve a holiday. You must deserve to treat yourself with a spa.
We all have these ego voices in our heads. They’re always the loudest and the most insisting ones. They want to shout down the voice of love. And, honestly, the fear voice is often the winning one.
During my coaching practice, I’ve met some very successful people. People who seemingly have everything but they lack self-love and self-worth. Their fear voice is as loud as anyone else. It takes time before you learn to work with it in a way that your fear doesn’t stop you. I think that we will always have worries, but once you understand them, you can choose to not listen to them.
Finding your self-worth is all about valuing yourself already now.
Start to feel valuable
What does make you feel more valuable and worthy? Maybe you’re all the time busy, and you rarely find time just for yourself. Then one of the ways to increase your value is to take better care of your “Me time.”
When you put some things off your plate by prioritizing and being more focused, you can crave more time to do what you love. This way, you show yourself self-respect, and you immediately feel more worthy. Because at that moment you value yourself more than a busy schedule or expectations of others.
When you value yourself, you’ll start receiving more abundance in your life.
You can start by asking yourself:
What are the ways I can best respect and value myself?
What would a person who loves and values themselves do differently?
When you make more self-loving decisions, you’ll instantly feel better, and the world will reflect your inner change abundantly back to you.