Redefine problems in 5 Steps
1. Talk to yourself nicely
No one can see the quality of your thoughts if you don’t share them. And that is a good thing but for a different reason than you think. What if you would take this fact to your advantage?
As well as you may think negatively about yourself, why don’t you become your greatest cheerleader?
Being kind to yourself in your mind isn’t a crime. Instead of saying that you suck at something, why not think that you’re doing your best and you’ll stay on your side whatever happens?
Why not look at yourself in the morning in the mirror and think how beautiful and amazing you are?
I’m not talking here about affirmations and lying to yourself. I’m just suggesting that you can talk nicely about yourself in your mind because you can. That is the only valid reason you need.
Sometimes, we overcomplicate things. We need to have a good reason for treating ourselves well but what about choosing it just for the fact that we can? It isn’t a crime, and you don’t have to tell anyone, talk to yourself nicely in your mind because you can choose to do it.
2. Challenge yourself
I love the 20s of the last century. People used to be more civilized, dressed in beautiful robes, spending their free time playing chess or tennis. Their language was also at a much higher level with a splendid vocabulary.
Although we’ve made our lives easier, we’ve also made our language simpler, less precise, and less beautiful. The vocabulary that we commonly use is pretty limited, and instead of explaining our feelings more precisely, we accommodate ourselves with okay, bad, or it doesn’t matter.
I find it excitingly challenging to look for the right words while talking to someone. I want to express myself in the best way I can to avoid any misunderstandings. And you know what? It makes me feel much lighter and like reawakening the level that we used to have in the 20s and earlier.
Back then, we didn’t care about spending more time to express ourselves better. Now we don’t have much time and sometimes using emoticons seems like enough. It can be fun to set your standards higher – for yourself and also for the people you interact with.
3. What about giving up one not so uplifting word at a time?
Although it might be a bit more challenging to change your language overnight, it can be done if you give up one word at a time in favor of a nice word.
What word do you choose to give up? Tell your best friend, spouse, or parent to keep you on track and remind you what you’ve promised yourself anytime you slip. I find it way more attractive when I speak to someone who doesn’t use unpolite vocabulary, how about you?
4. Redefine problems
Choose one area that you dislike. It can be doing taxes for your business, talking to your in-laws, or learning a new skill. Jot down on paper the way you usually talk and think about your challenging life area.
Can you see any parallel between your language and what you experience?
Just like Lisy in the previous example, you may also notice that you unconsciously dis-empower yourself when you think that something is too complicated or not easy enough to change. How many options do you then have left if you believe that you cannot change something?
5. Find your own empowering words
Think about three words that move you deeply. These words should describe the way you wish to be.
For instance, it can be authentic, radiant, generous, graceful, humorous. Choose anything that makes you feel light and excited and write these three words somewhere where you can review them daily. When you feel like being stuck or upset, read them loud and remind yourself what kind of person you choose to be today.