Do you know that feeling when you’re close to something important and then you sabotage it? Without any rational reason?
It’s like when you have an important meeting that could change the course of your life, but you don’t show up, or you become sick.
Even when we try to rationalize our decision, deep inside, we always recognize when we do something against ourselves.
Sabotaging important things leave scars. Little by little, it undermines self-esteem and creates the feeling of being a victim. If you cannot trust yourself who else should you trust?
4 Steps to stop sabotaging yourself
1. Recognize when you sabotage yourself
Everyone has some challenging and painful spot. It may be your body weight, relationships, or money.
What is the area of your life that seems almost not moving anywhere?
Sometimes, self-sabotage can be almost invisible. Even to ourselves – we may rationalize our decisions by not being ready yet.
For instance, you may have bad luck in romantic relationships. Yet if you look deeper, you might find out that you have been successfully sabotaging all the chances to create a beautiful relationship.
There is some area of your life that you are afraid and thus unconsciously you make sure that you always fail. It’s time to shed light on whatever it is.
2. What is the real cause?
What is the real reason for your self-sabotage? You may be afraid to accomplish something because of the fear of being rejected and not recognized.
Mostly, we don’t try something because we allow our mind to put a limit on our capabilities. We listen to this little voice in our head which tells us that we aren’t good enough and that we always fail.
By believing it, we make it real. We create our reality by supporting these limiting beliefs. Thus we stay stuck in the dysfunctional patterns.
3. Get angry
Yes, you’re reading well. Anger helps to release some suppressed emotions. Anger is the breakthrough point in which we become potent enough to shift some situation energetically.
You need to get to the state of anger about your current situation. Let’s say that you always sabotage yourself in relationships, and finally, you get tired of it.
Lastly, there comes the moment when you recognize that you also deserve to be happy. This is your turning point.
Use the upset as fuel to change the status-quo. Decide to improve your situation and your mindset. No one ever said that you could not change what you don’t like it.
4. Become your best friend
The way out of self-sabotage is to be on your side. Especially, when this behavior creeps in. If you recognize why and where you sabotage yourself and you also have the inner fire to change it, then you must coach yourself when you’re about to sabotage again.
Situation by situation.
Stop before doing anything and think about the consequences that the sabotaging behavior will bring you. Step by step condition your mind to different supportive behavior.