Last month, my friend told me that she felt desperate about her employees in financial services who suffer by comparing themselves to others. “It completely paralyzes them from doing their work, and I have no idea what to do with them,” she said. I want to share with you what I told her as I thought that it could be useful for more of you.
2 Steps to Stop Envying Others
Step #1: Comparing doesn’t make sense
Each of us has a unique life journey and different lessons to be learned. If you see someone having success and you envy them then realize that the person probably needs this experience to grow and heal. Just as you need your experiences. Plus they worked hard to create success.
What if you would have changed your perspective from comparing yourself to the visible results you see in the lives of others to looking at their lives as their unique life journey to get the exact lessons they need?
There isn’t anything to judge and envy to others. Broaden your perspective about life as a place where our soul (higher self) gathers information through our growing process.
For purposes of grow, we need to go through specific experiences. Life experiences aren’t better or worse – they are just particular lessons that each of us needs. And these lessons reflect our past journey and the exact moment where we stand now.
It’s true that learning from pain isn’t necessary if you stay open to the lessons then you can also learn through joy.
Yet the truth is that regardless of what you envy, it’s the exact other people’s experiences they need to grow.
Other people success doesn’t deprive you of anything. It’s just their experience.
In fact, it has nothing to do with you. But for sure, it offers you a mirror. Let’s talk about it in the next step.
Step #2: Stop envying others and turn it to your advantage
If you still can’t stop envying others then use it to your advantage.
Be honest with you and understand that the envy is only about you and it’s your problem. The other person has nothing to do with it. To understand the lesson for you, you must be sincere and discover the root cause of your envy.
Write down on a paper what exactly you are envious of. Be as specific as you can and put it all on paper until you still feel some negative feeling toward the person. Once you’ve got it down to the paper, reread it and realize that these are the things that you want for yourself. Other people are just mirrors for you to help you recognize some hidden beliefs.
There is a part of you knowing that the kind of reality that you envy is possible for you.
Allow yourself to create that reality. Ask yourself how you can create it and then go and start. Create from the heart. The moment you allow yourself to create the envied thing in your life, there is no more reason for being envy.